devilsnot

Remember this stuff?




















I should've read more into the picture, the flames, and everything, because this stuff is FROM HELL.

I put it in my bathtub, and it turned my bath water kind of a light red. OK, that's cool. And then it started making noises like I had just poured Pop Rocks in there. Not fizzy like a bath bomb, but popping! Really cool. I got in. It smelled pretty nice, a little spicy, a hint of clove. I approve of such smells in my bath water. Awesome. I didn't notice that the water was any hotter, but I did get tiny tingling sensations here and there. That and the smell made me wonder if there was a touch of cinnamon or clove oil in there, because those are pretty volatile oils and can cause some irritation if put directly on the skin (maybe it really was just Pop Rocks, tho, they tingle, too). I saw little pinkish blobs of oil floating around on the surface of the water, which would support my theory. Well, a lot of bath additives have oil in them, for skin-softening benefits, all well and good. I'd just smooth it into my skin when I got out and I'd smell good all day.

But then I got out of the water.

I soon came to the conclusion that there was too much oil left on my skin to just rub in. In fact, there was a reddish film all over my body. Great. Now I'd have to take another shower. I knew it wouldn't just rinse off with water, being oil, so I lathered on some soap.

Big mistake.

I was now covered with a sticky, slimy, mucilaginous layer of goo, like I was greasing up to swim the English Channel. And it wasn't coming off.

I had to spend ten minutes scraping off the goo and a layer of skin with a scrubby towel. Maybe that's the hidden ultimate benefit of this diabolical product: exfoliation.

I also had to spend 5 minutes re-washing the tub. I had just washed it before I filled it, due to the rubber-ducky-induced mildew and kid-scum sticking to the sides.

Well, to mix my adages, curiosity skinned the cat, I guess. Live and learn. That's what I get for not being able to read Japanese. It probably has warnings on the package: Caution: May cause slime to form on some individuals. Remove with dish detergent. Or there are some specific instructions on how to use it, like in cold water, or only on Thursdays.

I may never know. But at least I can warn you.